“Them” 4,629,434 LSU 0
–Cirroc, the most sophisticated male in all the tribe, approaches a group of his brethren.–
Cirroc: Hello fellows, I’d like to offer you a delicious sandwich. I made it with hearty roast beef, succulent salami, fresh roma tomatoes and spinach, tender avacodos, plump pickles, and a big fat slab of Monterey Jack cheese.
Grok: Mmmhhhmmm…
Groog: Give it! Give! Eat! Yum yum!
–Cirroc hands the delicious sandwich over to the group of imbeciles and watches them devour it for a moment. Satisfied he has helped his ill-witted brethren to enjoy at least a few seconds of their miserable existence, he leaves them.–
Groog: Me want ‘nother! Yum yum!
Grok: Mmmhhhmmm…MMMHHHMMM!!!
Nindaroo: Me have idea! Me make same delicious sandwich. What he say was on delicious sandwich?
Grok: Mmmhhhmmm!
Nindaroo: Me figure it out. Here…that Woolly Elephant crap will make delicious sandwich!
–Nindaroo gathers up as much Woolly Elephant crap as he can and attempts to recreate Cirroc’s delicious sandwich, but of course, he can put together nothing but a steaming – now disturbed – pile of Woolly Elephant crap.–
Nindaroo: Arrrggghhh!!! Cirroc lie to us! Me cannot make delicious sandwich!
Grok: Mmmhhhmmm!
Groog: Cirroc use magic to make delicious sandwich!
Nindaroo: It…It..It a CONSPIRACY!!!
Groog: We use Woolly Elephant crap to make delicious sandwich and come up with different result than Cirroc! He liar! CONSPIRACY!
–
Yep, that’s basically what’s going on in TigerLand right now, as LSU fans are screaming foul over team recruiting rankings by Rivals.com. They just can’t seem to grasp how Alabama edged out their beloved Bayou Bengals for #1. “Numbers don’t lie!” they holler.
But yes, they do – if the numbers and formulas you are using to calculate are equal to Woolly Elephant crap.
A Drug Called Tradition 
That is just plain funny.