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2009 UA Football Schedule



Red Elephants

Tana Patrick Talks about Knoxville Visit

Tana Patrick

Stevenson, Ala., linebacker Tana Patrick chose to attend Alabama, but the decision was not as clear-cut as many believed, especially after his adventurous visit to Tennessee the weekend before Signing Day.

Patrick’s comments on his trip to Knoxville, courtesy of an Outer MonVOLia denizen:

Yeah…I had a great time on my official visit to Tennessee. Coach Kiffin and Coach Oregeron chartered a bus and took us all to Gatlinburg and through the Smokies. One of the highlights of the trip was when we stopped in Cherokee, NC and Coach Monte Kiffin insisted that we all try some saltwater taffy. That stuff is really gooey and hard to chew, and Coach Monte Kiffin ended up having to remove his dentures and pick it out with a toothpick. That was hilarious.

After that, we rode around Cade’s Cove and watched all the deer. We actually saw a bear and it reminded me that I should probably text the guys at Alabama and let them know what I was doing.

Later in the day we went to Gatlinburg and played Hillbilly Golf. That was a tons of fun because I got a hole in one by knocking the ball into the open end of a huge moonshine jug. When I hit the hole in one, Coach Oregeron ran over and gave me a goomba then put me in a headlock. The worst part of it was that he had his shirt off and was sweating. But Oregeron is alright…he’s just a little intense and would scream at anyone who was playing slower in front of us.

For dinner we went up to Ober Gatlinburg. We had fried chicken in a huge room overlooking the ski slopes, and after dinner we went tubing. The tubing was hard because we’d be going along pretty fast and hit a patch of dirt then everyone would go flying. Of course Coach Oregeron also did that without his shirt on, so he was covered with mud by the end of the night. On the way back down, Coach Lane Kiffin was rocking the sky bucket trying to scare us. When we finally got on the ground his dad got onto him pretty good for horse playing.

On the bus back to Knoxville, Coach Lane Kiffin was in the back with some of us guys and he threw a pecan log roll he’d bought at Stuckey’s out the window at a car as we drove past. Coach Monte Kiffin saw him do it, and made Lane sit up in the front seat behind the driver for the rest of the trip. He was pretty upset about being punished by his dad in front of us recruits, but he shouldn’t have thrown his pecan log roll at that car. I knew he had gotten mad at his dad when he was wiping tears from the corner of his eye. He thought no one was looking, but I was, so I just rested my hand on his shoulder.

Overall I would give my visit an 8. It might have gotten a 9, but we only got a snow globe and a UT ashtray for gifts. Right now I would say that UT is my 3rd choice, but they’re moving up.

Sometimes fiction is funnier than reality.

One comment on “Tana Patrick Talks about Knoxville Visit

  1. Oskie says:

    Ahhhh, yes, the Monvolia lair. No one does bitterness and self-deprecating quite like those guys.

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